Bike show awards special post.

Well , the big handmade bike show of 2011 is over and all the builders and bikes have left Austin. The awards have been presented and the next show location has been announced. I didn't get to see the show and I was too busy and maybe too broke to be part of it but that doesn't mean I can't come up with my own take on the whole experience.......back a few years ago I was maybe one of the biggest proponents of this show-I exhibited my work, I played two times at the big show parties in a band and I also had seminars at all three shows that I attended. I do know this show from the inside and I appreciate all that it is.
That said, I have my own awards that I came up with for the show. I hope that all who read this will see the humor in what I am implying and won't get too offended. There will be some truth in what I write, even if it might seem more than a little sarcastic. I assume we are all adults and can get through this without any major shit storms.
Here it is, your 2011 overopinionated framebuilder awards:

1. Greatest disparity in orders vs. wait list award. This award is given to the builder who has the longest waiting time for a frame while having the least actual amount of frames on order.

2. Best spousal income. This award is presented to the framebuilder who's spouse has the highest paying job , along with best benefits that allows the builder to operate without having to actually make a wage.

3. Most complete disregard for structural soundness in pursuit of aesthetic appeal. This most coveted award is given to the builder who succeeds in making a striking work of art that will no doubt disintegrate when ridden off even a very modest curb.

4. Best imitation of last years 'Best in show'. -No explanation needed for this one.....we have all seen it every year.

5. Finest application of paint and graphics to hide shoddy workmanship. This award is pretty much the 'bike that fooled most of the people almost all of the time' certification and there are few entries that get by the keen eye of the folks at the show , but every once in awhile......

6. Bike that starts yet another annoying trend. Not easy to get, this one. A true visionary is needed to create a piece of work that makes the inner conformist moron come out in all of us.

7. Builder that has disappointed more customers but is still highly regarded. To be frank, I have to tip my hat to the person who takes this particular trophy home-I have to be accountable for what I do......I don't know how they get away with treating good meaning customers like disposable garbage.

8. Best 'Spin' award. This prize goes to the builder who can sell literally the 'sizzle' and have no 'steak'. I guess it could be the honorary ' Snake oil salesman' award, but then that would be unfair to the snake oil trade. This could also also be called the: "Excellence in pandering" award.

9. Most prohibitively expensive townie. I always though that the 'townie' would be the cheapest bike in the catalogue..........boy, did I get it wrong or what ?

10. Bike with the least structural integrity. This award is very much in the spirit of award # 3 except for the chance that this builder didn't particularly have aesthetic or structural concerns for his/her entry . This would be the classic 'Concept bike"-Ironic in that the builder might have no concept at all of what a bike really is.

11. Boldest display of questionable 'innovation'. Here's the medal presented to the original thinker........too bad he/she has little to actually think with.

12. Most cryptic and mysterious dialect. This is awarded to the builder who can speak at length about his/her craft without anyone having the slightest clue what the hell he/she is talking about.

13. Most merchandise in booth that have nothing to do with bicycles and/or the show. This prize is given to the builder who mistook the handbuilt bike show for a garage sale. Hey, it costs to do the show......I gotta make some money here.....interested in some pre-1955 cranberries ?

14. Highest price/lowest value bike. The winner of this award would have to be nothing short of a genius-that is, if the bike actually sold.

15. First/last award. This particular prize goes to the builder who devotes 100's of hours to making a truly remarkable and special work of bicycle art that he/she will probably sell at a horrendously low price and realize that such an undertaking was not worth the time. Upon realizing this the builder decides to stop building altogether. This could be called the : "I should have been a plumber" award , named after a builder who told us all that he really should have been a plumber.......I for one am glad that he is not.

16. Mr./Mrs. Omnipresent. This award is given to the builder who is literally in everybody's shit on the internet. It could be 3 a.m. and you are posting a way to true hole saws in your lathe when some guy/gal immediately posts a way that they do in their shop that is so much cooler. This person would probably post a way to use the methane from a cow's ass to fuel his/her torch , eliminating costly acetylene tank refills of $ 30 every 6 months.

A temporary solution to a permanent problem.

This post was actually written awhile ago. Because of the critical nature of the content, my wife persuaded me to edit it and delay publishing it. I'll say that even though the thoughts contained here are pretty strong, they are only my opinions and really don't count any more than another person's view. I know that the personalities I am assailing in this post are largely figurative and not anyone in particular . I have some personal codes of conduct that I attempt to live my life by and I have this blog to call out the folks that I feel are diametrically opposed to what I think is the best way to approach our craft. That said, you can label me a narrow minded shit head if you like-in some ways I fully qualify for that moniker.
If you are a builder and you have a fragile ego I suggest that you skip this post , even though it is most likely not directed at you.



If you do something long enough and don't screw it up that much, there is a chance that you'll get some sort of approval from folks-a fan base, perhaps. Even if you don't understand or even want this thing ( although I think deep down, even the most curmudgeonly of us wants friends ) people will , by their good nature and enthusiasm elevate you somewhat over where you thought you were in the craftsman food chain. This in my opinion is a good thing , that is if you can have these accolades and not let it change who you are.
Back when I first started getting words of praise from customers ( some deserved, some not ...it is what it is. ) My first reaction was to dismiss the good words, essentially tell good meaning folks that I was no good and did not deserve any praise. This was effectively not allowing anyone to have a positive opinion of my work. Maybe it was false humility, more likely self loathing with an extra helping of insecurity-nevertheless , it was pretty stupid and even I eventually realized that.
I guess I went too far in trying to avoid a thing that we as builders really need to be mindful of-the mistake of feeling too bitchen. What I and a few other builders talk about is the 'kiss of death' of taking praise from people as a license to feel like a special being.....a demigod of the torch. If somebody says you are a 'Master frame builder' , the best thing to do is to say 'Thank you." The worst thing to do is to call yourself that on your website or anywhere else. If one starts believing that one is " The Master" there is a certainty that a great fall is imminent. I have witnessed such falls over the course of my career and they aren't pretty, but usually the person is deserving of such a rapid and public decline-especially in the wake of a campaign of extreme pomposity and/or arrogance. While I feel it is fine and actually healthy to be proud of a job well done, there is some real sickness out there in folks that take the pride thing too far.

My question is this : why does anyone really feel the need to be disingenuous to sell bicycle frames ? What goes though the mind of a person that attempts to create some sort of divinity image about building a frame....... " Hell, I'm good at this and I deserve to be on top! " ........or something like that. How do you make yourself believe such crap ? Is it from outside influence ? Is it from some major psychological insecurity ? Is it a feeling that one hasn't gotten a big enough piece of the pie ? Or is it that one is just falling in love with one's self.....again ?
When the sad day comes , the day I feel I have to start quoting myself in the third person-example :

" The wind came up on the bluffs and we were riding very fast.....it was only a training ride but the speed we were attaining was making it so my tires were drifting in the corners. I pressed the bike as fast as I dared , sliding both wheels in a kind of cycling-ballet on the edge of the ocean-it was here that I knew I had found the ideal bike geometry ." ....Paul Sadoff.

I don't know about you, but if I had just read that thinking that the person writing it was serious I would reach for the vomit bucket.
Maybe it's just me, but something tells me that the product should do most of the selling. Building some sort of 'spin' around your craft is definitely a skill in itself but it is for the most part a skill I avoid. There's truth that we as framebuilders are not just selling bike frames, we are to a degree selling lifestyles. In the best cases, these lifestyles are things like racing, touring or commuting. In some , one might be selling a rolling object of art-I do understand this and don't really think it is wrong. In the worst cases we are selling stuff to make people feel connected to our supposed, often self-proclaimed 'greatness'........buy this bike and you'll be part of a very exclusive club , a club that makes you wait a really long time and pay lots of money to be a member. Essentially this club wants to make you want to be part of it enough to endure the wait and expense that is the entry fee. If you don't like the terms, you are shunned. I really don't understand how or why intelligent people put up with this. Is it really worth it ? Is it going to enrich your life so much that the huge price tag and monumental delay in getting your frame are inconsequential ? Or is it that if this purchase did not involve these hardships it would not have the appeal ? I don't get it......I guess I was never supposed to get it-I'm not a member of the club.

Oh,no....not another quiz ! ?

Yes, friends.....it is time for a quiz. This one is something of a character study , kind of. The names have been eliminated to protect the well.....errr.......I'll leave it at that. Am I insinuating that the person(s) possibly although not necessarily referred to in the quiz are factual ? I'm not telling you.......you'll have to guess, just like you'll have to figure out the proper answers to the questions. First of all, I would like to explain the photo above. I never do this usually-I think the photo is mostly there to convey a mood or perhaps an inside joke that maybe .000135 % of the readers of this blog might get. There's no joke in this photo today. The book is one that I have been writing in for over 33 years. It contains the spoke lengths for a variety of hub/rim/cross combinations. Why don't I use the online spoke calculators available you might ask ? Well, I guess I see other folks getting wrong spoke lengths from these calculators enough that actual documented tested data in a book might save me a step or two. Call me primitive.....I don't even take credit cards at my business. O.K. on to the quiz.

The theme of today's quiz is what kind of person might your framebuilder be if **********. There are many types of folks hanging up a shingle proclaiming that they are framebuilders.......some of them actually are . The rest are, well....lets just say that maybe they ought to have a different job.

If your framebuilder takes your deposit ( and maybe a few others ) and does not actually build the frames that have been ordered......ever.......he is :

A. Just a poor guy trying to make a buck.
B. Just a poor guy trying to steal a buck.
C. Just a poor guy succeeding in stealing a buck.
D. Kind of a pathetic poseur/criminal
E. Maybe has fallen on hard times.
F. Maybe has not fallen on hard times and isn't a framebuilder at all.

If your framebuilder does not return your phone messages and/or emails he is:

A. More important than you, stupid.
B. Probably overwhelmed with his position as king of the dung heap.
C. Wants to cultivate an air of mystery.
D. Needs to heal from the interactions with his fellow humans for a time.
E. Had his phone turned off.

Say your custom frame has an issue that has nothing to do with how you ride or maintain your bike and the framebuilder refuses to service the bike. His/her possible reason(s) are :

A. There is no stated warranty , butthead.
B. Too busy making more frames for folks like you except that they don't actually ride so they have no complaints about the bikes.
C. The customer is always wrong.
D. There's a Jersey Shore marathon this week/month/year.
E. He/she has left no forwarding address and is off to parts unknown.

Your framebuilder teaches other folks framebuilding because :

A. He/she is not threatened by new talent and actually wants to help.
B. He/she/it needs the money and orders are down.
C. There's some sort of sick satisfaction in teaching what one has regarded as a sentence.
D. It's a chance to have people listen to you for once.....
E. Somebody has to carry on this stuff.

What if your framebuilder tells you that you'll get your frame in 5-6 weeks and after nearly a year you still haven't gotten your frame and you payed all the money up front. His/her reason is :

A. Can't be bothered at this time, there's work not to do.
B. Can't be bothered at this time , there's lots of bickering to do with other numbskulls online.
C. Can't be bothered at this time , I have seven blogs......whoops-
D. Can't be bothered at this time , there's a Jersey Shore marathon again.

If you finally get your frame from your builder and the rear wheel does not center....not even close-I'm talking totally cacked , the frame has not been chased, faced, tapped, etc. seatpost won't fit and you told the builder the actual brand of post you were going to use , the builder would describe the parameters of precision as :

A. Tolerance of +/- 2 mm.
B. Tolerance of one hair past a freckle.
C. Tolerance of two fifths of Jack Daniels.
D. Tolerance of "Did I build this ? It doesn't look like my work..."
E. Tolerance of "Just had a bad day......aw hell, I'll fix it."

Say your framebuilder is creative, causes a stir at the bike shows and really has some interesting original ideas that fly in the face of convention in almost playful disregard. What if the buying public does not support this talent and after some time he/she is forced to quit and get a day job. The upshot is:

A. Yee hah ! Don't have to worry about that one any more !
B. Well, he/she did it to him/herself being so damn clever......
C. Probably didn't have enough stainless on them there frames.
D. Maybe we all lose as this particular talent won't be able to fulfill his/her artistic contribution to the craft at large.

Last question. This one is bound to ruffle some feathers but I hope all will see the good natured aspect of the humor contained.......or not. Feel free to hate me.

Framebuilders are creating little guilds or groups to:

A. Have some fun.
B. Create standards that protect builder and client alike.
C. To attempt to elevate themselves above other builders for the sake of ego gratification.
D. To get together for Jersey Shore marathons.
E. Because everyone's doing it.
F. There's power in numbers.
G. Mainly out of boredom.....
H. Because we all really can't quite get along.

Thanks for reading....please don't firebomb my shop-I can burn it down myself.

Voyage to see what's on the bottom...

O.K. , o.k. , so I'm finally belching out the post I promised a week or two ago. Why the delay ? I had to wait for certain things to play out in my so-called " Professional world". Yes, you cannot make everyone happy and there's a good chance that you'll piss a few people off without even knowing why in this business.......that's about as much of an explanation as you'll get from me right now. But I digress......here's the story:
About the time of the last dinosaurs when I was building my first few frames I had the notion that I would put my artistic background into my new craft. It was my intent to raise the bar of bicycle frame construction single-handedly and show the world what I had in skills. Of course, as soon as I built a few frames, each one more ornate than the last I got the feeling that I was maybe a bit.....no, actually wayyyy ahead of myself. By my nature I was impusive , tempermental , impatient and most of all , not having anywhere near the skills needed to attempt what I was doing. I was a fool. Hey, maybe I still am a fool-I'm a bicycle framebuilder, right ? I'm getting off track here.......what I'm trying to say is that I went in a direction that proved to be a mistake for me-I was placing too much emphasis on the outward appearance of the frame while not concentrating on the more important aspects of framebuiding, namely soundness of construction and geometry. Not too much later I would address these aspects after an epiphany of sorts.
The epiphany was this : Here I was, a bicycle mechanic who had built maybe 8-10 frames and was not really getting the kind of choice ride quality that I was hoping for. I, like a few other builders of the late '70's was kind of trying to re-invent the wheel, so to speak. We , the new builders of the '70's were making bikes stiffer, steeper and tighter than anything we had seen.....why ? Because we thought it was going to be better. Was it better ? Actually it was the shits. The bikes sucked, except for sprinting in a straight line on a totally smooth road. Hey, we were trying for something new that would be better than the Italian bikes of the day and send customers flocking to our doors with deposits in hand. Ahh.......the epiphany. One day in 1982 while working at a bike shop I got a chance to assemble and ride a $ 495 Bianchi Nuovo Racing bicycle in vaguely my size, a 56 cm. All it took was a few trips around the block and I realized what I was doing wrong.....I was dismissing good geometry in favor of trying to create my own new standard. The Bianchi was everything I wanted in a road bike except that it was not made of the best materials and it was maybe cosmetically a bit rough.
The next bike I built for myself was a replica of the Bianchi, at least geometrically. I used Columbus S.L. tubing and a mix of Henry James and Tange cast lugs,essentially all of the best stuff I could buy to construct the frame.The result was the best road bike that I had ever ridden and the template for all of my future road frames. I rode it for a solid 9 years and never laid it down once.....it was a magic bike.
Fast forward to 2011. The lesson from the Bianchi is still with me-make the bike ride right , don't get caught up in trying to make something for the Smithsonian or maybe attempting to set the new standard for bicycle design. I'm not saying that innovation is not possible, it just can't happen without filling a specific need. Need drives invention and need is what makes my job viable. I weld bikes for folks who need them to race, commute , recreate, and so on. I don't build frames to make people look.....I build frames for the folks that ride. There are many framebuilders that share that view. We are not the ones winning awards at the bike shows-to be frank, some of us don't even go to those shows , great though they are. We are from the lowlands-the place of welders. We put tubes together to make things to ride....it isn't what gets the attention of the media for the most part and it isn't what turns heads of the discriminating bike show junkie. Our bikes aren't ugly, they just aren't flashy. You will seldom find stainless bits or much in the way of ornamentation on our bikes. What you'll find on our bikes are people riding them.
Yes, I'm doing it again , calling attention to the folks that don't build a 'special bike for the show' or launch some sort of 'special edition' bike to try to get orders. I'm not saying that either of those labors are worthless, they are just not worth much to folks like us, the lowly welders of bike frames. I guess I get a little pissed off-actually a lot pissed off because welders of bike frames do not get the same level of respect as the folks that build the fancy lugged efforts. I'm pissed because welding is actually more difficult than brazing in that there's no room for error and there's no place to hide shoddy work. A lug can hide not only poor tube contact but also insufficient brazing. With welding everything is out in the open, both the miter of the tube and the result of one's welding skills. If something isn't right it will stick out like a red flag and no amount of paint will cover a really bad welding job.
Welding gets little respect because people assume that is is easy and quick. It is quick for those who have done the many hours of practice to create both a strong and attractive bond. The lugged construction has the benefit of the 'cleanup' phase , a period after brazing where imperfections can be filed away. Essentially , something that was pretty awful looking can be transformed into something quite passable after much filing and some creative paint work. With welding things have to go right the first time........there's no prettying up a tig weld without potentially removing too much metal and creating a future failure zone on the frame.
Maybe I sound pathetic trying to get folks to appreciate welded framebuilding-perhaps it is pathetic and I'm just one of those lazy no good bum framebuilders from the lowlands , the realm of mere welders .........certainly not craftsmen of the order of the ones that dazzle you with " your name here " in stainless steel letters on a prominent place on the frame . Maybe I'm just jealous of the artisans who are charging three times what I get for a frame and making folks wait years.......years !!!! for a bicycle frame. Maybe some people don't value a custom frame by what it does for their riding pleasure.....maybe it isn't desirable if it is too easy to get or too affordable-after all , that would pretty much eliminate the exclusivity part, wouldn't it ? If some schmuck down the street who is a working stiff can afford to buy a such-and-such frame - it isn't special enough , is it ? I rest my case.

It's coming..........

Get ready for the next salvo.....coming soon.

Living the dream ?

December was not a particularly great month for me. For one, I had a demolition project next door to my shop going on that made it impossible to work for most of two weeks. The noise and dust caused by the remodel of the bathrooms next door got to be so oppressive that there was no way I could attempt to weld while the floor was shaking with the sawing and hammering.

The next thing to come down the pike was a kidney stone that got stuck and landed me on my back for nearly a week and a half-this infirmity made it so I missed the three biggest races of the cyclocross season and my team had no manager for the Nationals . If you are self employed like me , you know well that there is no unemployment, no state diasbility and no crew to carry on the work while you are incapacitated. So, what are my plans for the new year ? That's pretty easy to figure out.....work my ass off to try to catch up and pay the bills.

This brings me to the point I wanted to make : The phrase " Living the dream" has been bandied about in reference to folks like myself who are supported by building bicycle frames. The person or persons who use this phrase in regards to what I do obviously have no idea what full-time framebuilding is about. If losing money for years , having days of wrench-throwing frustration , working until 10:00 at night to catch up on a build that took way longer than anticipated , not getting any kind of vacation for years-opting instead to go to trade shows where most folks don't even look at the stuff you brought is living the dream , I think most folks would rather take the nightmare option instead.

From the outside looking in , some folks must see the daily jaunt to the workshop and subsequent idyllic time of self-employed crafting as the dream that got away-the escape from the mundane work-a-day life that most people endure to scratch out a living in this crippled economy. From the inside looking out , my view is that all the years that led up to this point were so difficult and debilitating that I find it difficult to rejoice in celebration of my so-called dream.

This is how I got to the life of full-time framebuilding. It wasn't as if I had a calling I could not refuse-it was not that I felt as if I was put on this earth to do just this , build bicycle frames with every micron of my being-and it was certainly not because I thought I would be living the dream. This is what happened. I worked really hard, stupidly hard much of the time. I didn't always believe that I would succeed-I just kept at it , almost like some sort of beat-down. One of us was going to give in-Me or the F$%^ dream. For years I stuck with this craft as if it were my only choice in life..........it wasn't , but I worked at it, fought it, made many blunders , learned and re-learned the same stuff over and over again because of my impatient and slipshod nature- What I did was beat my head against the frigging wall until I made a hole in it and climbed through. What was on the other side of that wall ? A dream ? No. An awakening and some spiritual enlightement ? Not really. What was on the other side was folks that saw what I did and placed a value on it. It was these folks that saw all my blunders, all of the dents in my floor and workbench where tools had been thrown - these amazing people who awarded me for my seemingly hopeless and psychotic devotion to a craft that initially I had little talent for........these folks welcomed me to be someone who was valid as a bike builder.

I have read where a person said that folks like me who were " Living the dream" owed my livelyhood to a builder who came before me who the great majority of my customers have never heard of. Maybe I owe my job to the folks that put on the trade shows. Maybe I owe my success to the internet. These reasons all sound great except for the fact that they ignore two things: # 1, I started this job before the handbuilt shows, before anyone building bikes even knew what a web page was and also ,with just a few exceptions a lot of builders back in the day were not willing to give out any information or support to anyone like me. My position is that I owe my success to the folks that come to my shop and see a reason to have me build something. My customers are my saviors and I always want to be worthy of their trust. That means that I have to fix my fuckups in a timely fashion , I have to on any given day be ready to bear down and focus on a bike that must be depended on to be safe, fun and not hold the rider back in any way. It isn't and easy thing to do and it is no dream......it is reality. I'm living the reality , and the torch, the welder and the materials will never let me forget that. Happy new year !

Perceived value

Last time I checked, I was not dead yet....or at least the breathing noises I make would indicate that my death has not yet arrived. Since this is the case , I'll have to consider myself one of the 'Not dead yet' framebuilders. Even though my frames are not collectable and as far as I know , not causing any kind of buzz amongst the rabid vintage bike fans I am very happy to be still alive. Being not dead yet has a lot of advantages....at least that's the way it appears to me , having never been to the 'other side' .

There is however , a distinct plus for being a dead guy who built bicycle frames-your legacy of work might get to command a much higher price than when you were alive to open your wallet and receive the proceeds. I'll cite the example of the late Mario Confente , noted Italian transplant to California who was sent here to re-create the famed Masi branded bicycles here in the U.S.A. as the demand for the bikes was sufficient to merit a satellite factory close to the new fertile market. Americans were going nuts over Masi, Cinelli, Colnago and a host of noted Italian racing bikes but it was Masi who made the move to get manufacturing nearer to the dollars . From what I understand , Mario Confente was the man to head up the operation.

This is where it all gets fuzzy to me......I don't know the details of what happened and why Mario wound up leaving and building under his own name but what I do know is that back in the late '70's , Mr. Confente was regarded was a real master of his craft by many bicycle shops-the shop where I worked was no exception. Any time a Masi made in California showed up in my shop, the serial number was checked to see if it could possibly be a "Confente built Masi". I didn't understand the significance as no matter how closely I looked at the workmanship, I could not distinguish one Masi frame from another. They seemed all to be built to a certain standard and almost boringly consistent. When an actual Confente came into the store there was quite a stir amongst the crew.....this I really didn't get as the Bruce Gordon sitting in the shop in near anonymity was light years beyond the Confente in terms of attention to detail and impeccability.

Fast forward to 2010. These are different times with the internet and much information and mis-information being bandied about by experts and complete morons alike about the value of certain 'collectable' bicycles. While one of my lugged frames from the early '80's might fetch a whopping $ 300 on craigslist on a good day, a Confente might be sold in a bidding war for well over $ 10,000 ! Is the Confente worth the price ? I guess that is not for me to say......the price is set by whoever pays it. While I love the whole nostalgia of vintage bikes and own a small fleet of relics, I don't really get why some bikes are worth over $ 10,000 and why others that display better craftsmanship and equal rarity are snubbed by the collectors. I guess it has something to do with death. If you are not dead, people can't really fabricate your legendary life......the life you lead is maybe too real and accessable . If you are still alive people can still talk to you, even order a bike from you. Conversely if you are dead , there's a finite supply of your work and probably a legend about the magical quality of your work-both of theses factors can be used to manipulate the price of your bikes. The bikes might be good or bad, the legend could be complete bullshit but for some folks it doesn't matter-you are dead , therefore your bikes are a must-have holy grail item.

I'm not supposed to be angry about anything that enhances the perceived value of bikes-that would be shooting myself and every other framebuilder in the foot. We all want our work to be valued as a lot of us devote out lives to this dubious pursuit. What makes me mad is the fact that collectors are rewarding the dead guys and pretty much ignoring the guys who are still alive , in effect rewarding speculation rather than craftsmanship and dedication. While there are a couple of actual living builders who have frames that are highly sought after by collectors , there's a whole army of neglected artisans out there putting out incredible work -a lot of it arguably superior to much of the collectable cult items. I'm not including myself in this group as I mostly build bikes for competition and don't consider myself a builder who caters to the collectors.

After more than 30 years in the business and many visits to bike shows, swaps and the like I have grown weary of the notion that some dead guy's bike is worth 20 times more than a living builders bike on the open used market. It is not a fucking Matisse !