Father- yes son- I want to kill you......

22years.....that's how long I have been in my present shop. 22 years.....nearly 1/4 of a century with a lot of personal and professional history behind me. I have been through a lot of changes at 2533-D Mission st. ext. and I have a shop full of accumulation to prove it- posters, bikes, parts,materials, photos, documents.....tons of stuff. The 22 years is coming to a close in about 6 weeks as I will move my shop down the street next month. This is not a move I planned- it is a move brought on by changes at my building that will make the current location a place that will no longer work for my business. The management of the building decided to close of the place to the general public to avoid having to conform to ADA requirements. Essentially, the management does not want to spend the money to allow disabled people proper access to the many shops in the building. Of course, if the rent was raised this would probably cover the cost for the ADA retrofits but the decision has been made to close off the building to anyone who does not rent there- this means no more customer access , no 'Open Studios', no classes, so school visits......nobody.
Of course, I can't really do business without my customers having access to me so this means that I have had to go look for a new location. I did find one only about a block away. My rent will triple but the new rent is more in line with the current reality in my town- the old shop was a screaming deal and I was lucky to have 22 years there. The low rent did come with some headaches......even though the landlady was a saint and regarded the tenants as family, she hired hard-asses to run the building and they were pretty awful for the most part- abusive and threatening in the worst of times. This made for some close calls over the years with eviction but I survived to this point-battle scarred but still in my shop , working away. Even now I am not being told to leave-it is the new terms of the building access that are forcing my hand, so to speak.
So next month the move happens. In the last two decades I have accumulated a ton of stuff- people come by with all sorts of stuff to give me and I have had a hard time saying 'no'. Much of this stuff will not make the trip to the new shop- the new place is a bit smaller and I don't relish moving a bunch of stuff that I will be unlikely to use. I have been donating bike parts to the local Project Bike Tech and have recycled a bunch of metal. I have bikes for sale and some tubing to give to other builders. I'm not quitting, I'm just lightening my load so that the new shop isn't the same shit show as my current situation.
Apart from the donations and recycling , I did something yesterday that had been on my mind for about two years. In 2016 I had a customer who had contacted me about a frame project- an unusual bike for an unusual guy. The customer was always very chatty and personable....I would say a very nice guy. I spent several hours in consultation with this customer in person on two occasions as well as multiple phone calls and innumerable emails. I didn't mind this as I kind of liked the guy and wanted to make him a bike he would really bond with. There were a few features I drew the line on-stuff that I never do- but at the time the customer seemed good with it.
Once the frame was done and coming back from the painter everything changed. I got an email from the customer that he was canceling the order stating that there was 'no joy in the process'. I was really blind-sided by this....I had not thought for a second that this customer had any misgivings about the frame or me as a builder. I was livid......how could I have not seen the signs of a problem ? Well.....because there were no signs of a problem. The customer probably had done this before with other builders. I found this out by calling up another builder who had been cancelled on twice by the same guy. This of course made me even more upset. I had spent many hours in consultation with the customer and many hours building the frame, only to have it hanging above my bench for two years, un-prepped and unridden. The frame was huge-super tall and super short-odd proportions to fit the unusual build of the customer. I came to the conclusion that it was unlikely that anyone would ever fit or want this frame and fork. The bad memories of the build and subsequent cancellation hovered above my head for two years. Yesterday I decided that this frame and fork would not follow me to the new shop-I decided to do something I thought I would never do-destroy a brand-new unridden frame....hell, I had not even prepped it for assembly !
Like Hendrix at Monterey Pop lighting his guitar on fire stating : " Now I'm going to sacrifice something I really care about for you all.." I set up my chop saw in front of the shop , took the frame off the hook it had been hanging on since 2016 and got ready to cut. Just then, the current building manager drove up in his truck and stopped for a moment. I waved at the truck and proceeded to cut the frame into small chunks while he watched. In about 2 minutes I cut apart something that had taken me the better part of 2 days to construct. The building manager drove off without a word and I walked to the dumpster with the pieces of freshly cut steel and put the pieces and hopefully the bad memories behind me forever.
I know that some of you will find this action I took insane and at the least wasteful. I understand and admit that my flawed personality had something to do with my urge to sacrifice this particular frame. This said, I did feel an amazing sense of relief , though....... a bad memory that was re-kindled every time I looked up and saw the frame on its hook-utterly useless and covered in dust-this will no longer be something I see on a daily basis. I'm looking to have a fresh start and this frame, this memory will not make the trip.